why do i keep meeting the wrong people? could it be me? my surroundings? you?.. i am so uncertain of things, it really bothers me. i became used to knowing.. everywhere i go it's high school reunion day. and not even the people i knew in high school but all the people you knew and their friends know my friends and we are all somehow connected to each other and everyone's madeout with each other ahhhhhhh.. i try not to judge based on that but i feel like there is no one left to meet. whittier never used to be some small town nightmare but it's beginning to feel like one for me. i have not really been on a date where we just did not get along but it has been happening a lot lately. for the first time in my somewhat adult life, i'm meeting people and there's not much chemistry. I can easily point the finger at myself and say that it is me and i am the problem, but lately, i'm just not sure anymore. there are annoying things you and i do that i can shrug, but not even the slightest of a spark is just unusual to me. usually i kind of just give up on the other person halfway through which i should not do, but it tends to happen because i already know it is not working out. i totally blame it on them too haha. I am aware; I should not have gone out with the guy if i know it is not gonna work out but i'm getting stoned out by an alright looking fellow and he's buying me beers. i am not ashamed. i think i am being optimistic by giving it a shot. honestly, i want to be wanted and the attention feels comforting. am i a bad person? no.
i just have dad issues..
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